How, as humans, do we become more, or less human?
Is this possible? Aren’t we just ourselves?
You too must be hearing the “finding/losing/remembering our humanity”-speak…and concerningly, it has basis doesn’t it? Basic kindness, care, respect seem to be elusive still at times…and story after story of our neighbors, friends and kin being mistreated, treated as less than human– painful, confusing– it can leave us feeling helpless and hopeless can’t it?
Sometimes on the carpet (aka in Constellation Work), and sometimes in session, I have folks say “I am the one.”
Try it—it’s a pretty powerful statement, usually brings up a lot of “ego” stuff for folks…
I am the one.
Does it feel scary, megalomaniac? Selfish, greedy, bully, over-powering, narcissistic?
And/or do you immediately want to let yourself off the hook, not me, not my responsibility, not my business?
Lexi reframe: Everything is your business and disowned shadows are killing us—yes, your disowned shadows, your disowned shadows, your abdication, avoidance, buck passing…and your of course refers to our, all of our…
What if, without the pomp, projection or overlays, “I am the one.” Is just true…of each of us.
Right now, I am the one to create this content to share with you, soon I am the one who will pick up my child from school, tonight I am the one who cooks…the more I accept my roles and jobs, the more present I am in my life. The more present I am in my life, the more I enjoy what is right here…
In family systems, sometimes we are the ones who carry our parents’ shame or take care of our siblings, we are the ones who fill the lost, forgotten, excluded or ignored shoes of a relative…and these roles, roles we accept but do not choose, cause us harm. OK, let’s clear that up so we can be ourselves and fulfill the only destiny we can…our own.
Then there is stepping into the true roles, freeing ourselves of the burdens, finding right place—from here, we can take “I am the one.” To places of health, healing and honor.
Being trained as most of us are, either in false humility and avoidance (I’m NOT the one…) or in grandiosity (I’m the ONE!”)…we miss this simple act, this simple place-taking with some frequency.
SO, be the one.
Start with the small things that really are yours to do, keep going, step up for the things that call you, honestly decline what does not…if we all step into what is ours to do, it all gets done. Caring, standing for (versus against) and claiming your place in Life is a gift in all directions. Please. Start. Right. Now.