Entanglements – what are they?
The knots that are so known by your system, you can’t name them or tame them even with all the self help books, podcasts and therapy available…We all have these and these are entanglements.
The ways that we suddenly become someone we do not recognize in relation to a particular person or group of people, the way we feel different than our normal selves under certain circumstances—”I couldn’t speak up, I usually do, I don’t know why” for example. “I found myself wanting to be mean and cruel” for example, “I really don’t know why I want to cry every time I ____”. Having the same argument again and again, slightly different story, slightly different theme… but the same argument.
These are entanglements.
News flash: entanglements are inherited trauma; generational trauma; the mysteries of ourselves that are actually beyond psychology — this is why no matter how much “help” you consume, things do not change… this is also why Constellation Work is such a precious and necessary tool. It is necessary to get beyond the blame, the problem-solution model of psychology, and the personal trauma, to what is underneath (personal trauma is a real thing, I am not dismissing this I am adding to the possibility of how we can heal it…).
From my lens as a person who has sat with individuals and groups for so many years, it’s like we’ve entered a new epoch — maybe it’s what we might call the end-of-the-world-as-we-know it (if we are singing along with REM, it’s important to note that the next line is “and I feel fine”… the kind of fine-not-fine we have all become accustomed to; an alive-but-not-really state that is terribly familiar to most of us…right?).
In this new age maybe we can approach our healing — the healing of our world one human life at a time — from a wider aperture. What imprints are we dragging around from times before our memories? What patterns are present that need to be seen, witnessed, presenced with? Does this matter?
If you are asking me, the answer is a resounding YES. It matters that we bear witness to the past, it matters that we lay down the burdens of our ancestors — in love, respect, and honoring. This is what all systems want, the simple recognition of what is so that it can become what was. The lost, forgotten, excluded, or ignored does not go away, does not rest in peace — it shows up as entanglements, generation after generation, seeking resolution. And we need to do our own work, to be able to discern what time zone our challenges are living in.
The solution is bearing witness. So simple, we’ve missed it. It is time. It is community work.
In love and with deep trust in what is possible. Let’s build the muscle of bearing witness to the past – so the knots can loosen and the present (and our presence) can become central to our future.